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Another Snow Day May Kill Us

Is anyone else coming a weensy bit unglued with all the snow days, ice days, and it’s-just-really-cold days?

Of course, of course we all love oodles of unstructured time with our kids.  Of course.

But that’s what Christmas break was for, and all these extra days are really starting to affect my ability to parent with awesomeness.

Before snow days, I rocked bedtimes.  We piled together and read stories.  Pinkalicious and Lola at the Library and Narnia and Pete the Cat.  I whipped out the Bible and read about Jesus and David the shepherd boy.  I did all the voices for Goliath and King Saul and I sang excerpts from Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat.  When my kids think Bible, they think jazz hands.

Then I prayed over them.  Big prayers that they’d be warriors and brave and love with big big wild hearts and for our family to unleash this big big love onto the world for the glory of God.

Since snow days, I mutter for them to brush their teeth, toss them in their beds, and exhale a “God, just, oh, I dunno, be with them” prayer as I’m trudging out of their rooms.  Be with them.  That’s where I’ve landed after all this togetherness.  God, help us survive another day without killing each other.

Cuz it’s starting to look a little grim around here.  I awake each morning to the usual feel of my daughter yanking hairs out of my head one by one, followed by a crash, screaming in the hallway, and an epic brawl over buttered toast.

Instead of the world, we are unleashing this big big love all over each other.  It’s more of a frustrated love, more of a…oh…what’s the word…maniacal enthusiasm for beating down one’s siblings.

Before snow days, I restricted screen time.  My kids asked permission to watch a show, and I graciously permitted one, because one was plenty, and young brains need unstructured play time to explore the textures, sounds, and smells of our beautiful world.

Since snow days, I don’t give a flying squirrel’s furry tush about screen time.  Play Minecraft till your eyes bleed.  Watch Doc McStuffins heal every toy in the neighborhood.  If these snow days keep up, I might cave and allow the dreaded SpongeBob.  Shh, don’t tell my kids.  Just whatever.

Before snow days, I encouraged the eating of fruit and veggies at every meal.  I chopped things.  We were so freaking healthy.

Since snow days, I alternate between frozen pizza and hotdogs, because I cannot take the whining anymore.  We’ve been too close for too long and the whines are starting to reverberate off the walls and clang at the base of my brain.  Ketchup is a vegetable.  I mean fruit; tomatoes are fruit.  Popcorn is a vegetable, cuz corn.  And for something green, well, my kids eat their boogers, so we’re covered there.

Before snow days, my kids made their beds every morning.  They did chores.  They had charts and they checked boxes and I felt like Supermom with all the boxes and chart checking.

Since snow days, the wipe-off marker has dried on the charts making them look permanently checked and therefore useless for all future choring.  I should make new charts.  But that sounds exhausting.

Before snow days, I had energy.  After my stellar bedtime routine, I worked on my writing, responded to emails in a timely manner, and engaged in titillating conversation with my husband.

Since snow days, I count down the minutes till I can remand them into their rooms, grab the Rainbow Nerds and potato chips, and descend into the basement for old episodes of Buffy the Vampire Slayer and a few hours of complete numbness of the brain.

I’m convinced I can be an awesome mom again, if I can only get away from my kids.

Is anyone else dealing with this?  I don’t know what it’s like in your neck of the snowy woods, but here in Atlanta, we’ve had days off for cold, Snowpocalypse 2014, and now Icepocalypse.  It’s ‘Pocalypse Palooza around here.  There is no shoveling or salting.  We just literally wait for the sun to melt us out of our homes.

It’s very The Shining, and the isolation is going to make someone go all Jack Nicholson and REDRUM if we don’t get out of here soon.  Another snow day may kill us.

And now the latest bout of snow days has segued into winter break.  We are never, ever, ever going to see other people.  I can’t remember if I have friends.  Their precious faces are blurry in my memory.  I seem to recall a bowl of coconut soup and laughter.  Must…try…to hold on….


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