Skip to main content

Dating for Moms – Tip #2

I’m one of those closet introverts posing as an extrovert.  You know what I mean?  When I tell people that I’m an introvert, they spray spit on my face with the force of their exuberant guffaws.  The girl snort-laugh jazz-handing in the middle of the crowded room is an introvert?  Please.

Okay, so maybe I’m a borderline introvert.  I love people oh so much, but I fill up in my little closet all by my lonesome – no talkie, just writey.  On planes, I try not to make eye contact or so much as tap the elbow rest with my arm for fear I’ll have to chat…unless the crossword in my airline magazine is already worked, and then I’m organizing a plane-wide search for a fresh one.

The same is true for those first base moments.

When my kids are at practices, events, school functions, or birthday parties, I hunker down inside myself.

If I’m waiting for them, I bring my iPad and guzzle down whatever book I’ve been digesting.  We mamas know how fast those waiting moments go.  I see all of us reading our phones, Kindles, iPads, and actual books (ah, my love of actual books…) during these precious minutes to ourselves.

Well, I’ve been thinking a lot about dating other moms since I posted Dating for Moms and realized just how many of us struggle with, think about, and work on these so-important momlationships.  So today while my kids were in their swimming lessons, I left my iPad in my upcycled purse/flour sack and hung out with the other moms in the room.

I’m not going to lie.  A few moments of silence made me ogle my dormant tablet, but I just sat, and then this beautiful thing happened.  We started talking, sharing kids’ names and our names.  We rooted for each others’ kids in the pool.  We talked lack-of-nap times, food allergy issues, and girls verses boys when it comes to flying ‘tudes.

First base stuff.  Nothing world-changing.  Or is it?  

When mamas who shape the future start sharing and laughing…isn’t that world-changing?  

When the daily stress of the schedules and tantrums and budgets slides off our shoulders and onto the pool-water soaked floor, that changes our world.  Shared experiences and the rhythm of motherhood, our overlapping lives and unique perspectives.  

On first base.  This is where it starts.  This is where we gather the strength and resolve to laugh off our heavy burdens and agree to do it again tomorrow.

We need each other so much.  Motherhood is meant to be shared.  I’m sure of it.

I will continue to carry around my beloved iPad.  B-F-F.*  But I am falling head over heels in deep, deep love with the mamas in my life, these precious girls who know more than I do about so much.

We share so many of the same pressures, insecurities, and frustrations, and doing just that, sharing them, somehow diffuses the power these worries have over us.

There’s fellowship in frustration.  When one mom is upset with her button-pushing toddler, I know that frazzled feeling.  And it’s such a relief when we find out we’re not alone.

We’re not alone!  When we lower our guard, reach out, and say, “I’ve been there,” we acknowledge and kindle the sisterhood of motherhood.  (See what I did there?  Kinnndlllle:)

*No iPads were harmed in the writing of this post.  My tablet with its happy pink cover is smiling supportively at me on my desk.  Long live technology. 

Dating for Moms Tips, equipping mothers to get out there and nail those momlationships.
For a full run-down of the Dating for Moms bases, click here.


image from